What Keeps Me Going?

It would be so easy to just say the hell with it and live out of my car again. So what keeps me going? This is a question that I have to ask myself daily. My family rejected me early in life and even though my father and I live in the same apartment, we are not close.

So what keep me going to work every day to keep an appartment that, before my Dad move in was spotless because I am never home? What keeps me paying an electric bill that is now $200.00 a month when I am never home and my father is? What keeps me paying a gas bill when I would never turn on the heat or air conditioning by choice? These are things that come to mind every month when I personally prefer to be homeless.

So what is my answer? A friend of mine at church reminded me that I am doing it because because he is my dad. I must admit that it is nice to feel needed. I guess Man is a social animal, but I am not sure how long I want to continue to help support a man who abandoned me.

But if I can’t take care of my Dad what kind of father would I be? Well these are the things that I have racing through my mind as I go through the day. But things seem to get easier as I reach my daily goals. But Postmates has changed the way the pay and for me it doesn’t seem worth my gas most of the time. So I embrase the challenge.

Now-a-days I work a full time job and do Postmates to pay for my food or it was just my food until my father totaled his car and just sits around the house playing video games. If I sound resentful I feel I should. My day starts at 4:30 am every morning and it doesn’t end until about midnight. I am never home and I am paying for both of our electricity and gas bills. Yet my Dad still wants more money to cover our getting rid of the Bedbugs that he brought in when he moved in. I feel like nothing I do is good enough.

So I find myself just going through the motions and avoiding coming home. At least at work I am appreciated. Yes I am burning out on the job thanks to the Libral scum who is not content until America is left in ruineds. Tonight I have a prisoner transfer and then I am doing Postmates to cover the cost of milk, eggs and cheese and still replace the gas, so I don’t get in trouble at work. Yeah I am tied, depressed, and even suicidal but I can work through it.

Also more and more restaurants are refusing to do business with Postmates, making life that much harder. I think the Liberal owners want to make sure people are deponent on the government. Before we started doing prisoner transfers I could use my daily food allowance to get what my father needs, but now I have to feed these liberal scum something other than ground glass and led. I am starting to hate this job. We should be killing these ANTIFA terrorists not feeding them.


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